In case you are living on a deserted island, with an internet-connected laptop that for some peculiar reason can only access blogs, and thus I am your only source of news in the universe, well then… firstly, I pity you, and secondly, the Rugby World Cup is on in France at the moment.

As happy as I would have been to stick my head in the sand of the aforementioned deserted island, it’s impossible to ignore, especially on the public transport with numerous British, South African and Australian fans either drunkenly chanting, or just looking drunkenly lost. But for a little while there, I thought I was even going to jump on the bandwagon. Before I blinked and missed it, I was going to create official English-language program material for the International Rugby Board.

I applied for a job in July which required someone who was:

1. A native English speaker (YES!)
2. Perfect spelling (ho-hum, well I would have Microsoft Word, right?)
3. Passionate about rugby (hmm… this one might pose a challenge, but I don’t have a research degree for nothing!!)

I spent the weekend on BBC Sport, Wikipedia and Google, and then applied for the job. A few writing tests later, and then the confirmation, the position was mine! More information was at this stage revealed… the position was for writing SMS/MMS/WAP coverage. Hmm… not exactly the most literary start, but then again, you’ve got to give the sporting public what they want to know.

Anyway, there I was, roster in hand, prepared to give up a month’s worth of weekends to try and write rugby updates in 160 character or less, when I was informed that the position no longer existed.

I don’t know why. Maybe in adherence with the « je parle rugby » program, they decided to abolish any trace of the English language from the tournament. Maybe they just realised that I was bluffing. Oh well…