French systems of administration and bureaucracy are infamous amongst expat circles, and I don’t think I’ve ever read an account of any foreigner in France where queues, paperwork or the carte de séjour weren’t mentioned at least once – and never favourably.

I’ve been lucky so far, in that on arrival Guillaume and I went together to sort out bank accounts and mobile phone bizzo, and I just watched and waited as he fussed with his car registration and social security. I was a little astonished at the reliance on actual paper, but I put it down to being a small town thing. Nothing was achieved on the day, we often didn’t get past the reception desk, and left with a piece of paper with scribbled notes and circled details, highlighting what to bring with us the next time. As visiting these institutions was an activity on our daily calendars somewhere between sloth and indolence, it was actually quite a pleasant way to get acquainted with the town. Had I, say, an actual life or a job at this time, the repeated visits would have been strenuous and frustrating.

Now in Paris, working as an au pair, all this gets organised for me. So I’m virtually unscathed by it all, except hearing stories from foreign friends who study at universities here, and my “online subscription” for a vélib’ public transport bicycle (ah-ha! I thought to myself, France is moving with the times, I can apply for this online! But after pages and pages of filling in my contact details, place of birth and bank specifics, such is the dependence on paperwork that I still had to download and print the PDF, to post it to them by snail mail and wait fifteen days for a response! Argh!!)

I can’t actually withdraw money free-of-charge from any Banque Populaire ATM in Paris, only from one “local” Banque Populaire ATM in Angoulême. On hearing this I wasn’t filled with any great sense of confidence – surely they put our details on a computer? Couldn’t this feasibly be reached from Paris?

However… in the mail the other day, Guillaume received a “Welcome to your new address” letter from Banque Populaire… to our Paris address! How did they know this!?! Are the funds saved from investing in the internet being used for good old fashioned espionage? We don’t recall notifying the bank of a change of address – and plus, we never actually lived at the original address that we gave them! But perhaps they already know this… It just gets strange and stranger…