Dear Régie Autonome des Transports Parisiens (RATP),

I’m sending this open letter to prepare you for the far more venomous one you will receive when I find someone to undertake the task of translating my vitriolic rant.

I have accepted the fact that I can no longer live with my boyfriend, because he is unable to commute to work from where we live and instead is residing with his grandmother. We have telephones, email, weekend visits… really, it’s like quite a benevolent jail sentence, so I thank you for at least allowing us that much contact.

I’m lucky in that I work close to home, and am not reliant on either the trains or the discarded vélib’ rental bicycles which taunt you from a distance with seeming availability, only to have a previous reservation or a flat tire. I’ve accepted that it’s no longer the best idea to have my bicycle on the street, because “bike-theft season” goes hand in hand with “transit-strike season” (the complementary colours of autumn).

The thing is, those of us with no other option were hoping for the bare minimum coverage to be maintained. One metro per hour isn’t too much to ask, why halt this at 7.30 on a Monday evening? I don’t think that anyone at the negotiating table between the workers, unions and government actually depends on public transport to get to work. Sure it’s convenient, but everyone in Paris seems to have a car tucked away somewhere – I mean, why work in the capital if a company car isn’t included in the perks?

Please find enclosed (well you will), our two tickets for the eclectic Balkan musicians, Emir Kusturica & the No Smoking Orchestra. I’ve heard you are refunding all pre-purchased tickets rendered invalid due to strike action, so I thought I would add these to the account.

Instead of an energetic evening, dancing as if possessed by a merlot devil to the crash of cymbals and expressive gypsy melodies played out on piano accordions, I’m sitting at home, alone, in my pyjamas, with only a ‘très très chocolat’ cake from Brittany to keep me company.

Lucky I’m not from the United States, otherwise I’d be suing for damages as well.

Yours in all sincerity,

Bettina