To complete my “research on stressful shopping experiences”, we also tried to do our once-in-six-months mega-shop at a nearby Carrefour hypermarket on the afternoon of December 31st. Just as we started loading up our trolley, an announcement came over the loud speakers: ‘Today we have the special closing time of 6pm. Registers will close in 30 minutes.’ People subsequently went nuts and after ten frantic minutes trying to get everything we needed, Guillaume just headed for the checkout to wait.

I just thought I’d grab a few more items, but I got caught in the grocery gridlock. It was insane. No one was moving anywhere, and no one wanted to give any ground. It was just a stationary mash of bodies and trolleys. There were amazing displays of solidarity though; people were passing their items over the heads of others, including random strangers in the chain, to friends similarly waiting in line with the trolley. The lines went to the end of aisles, and I don’t see how anyone could have got out of there before midnight.

Caught in the crowds, I began visualising that everyone would still be there prior to the stroke of midnight. I envisaged that there would be a huge countdown, and then people would start kissing each other and cracking open warm bottles of champagne and eating whatever happened to be in their aisle for an hors d’oeuvre. We’d all be friends for the coming year, whereas back in 2007 we were just hostile bodies pushed together for two-for-one Christmas chocolates, washing detergent and orange juice.

In fact, every time (well… both times) we’ve been to Carrefour it’s been stressful. The first time was a Saturday morning following payday, and that was the second. Of course we should have gone earlier, but it was much nicer to spend the morning ice-skating!

Our strategy worked well though – I was able to backtrack and dash through an empty aisle, leap over a fire exit barrier, and land our extra items on the conveyor belt just as the cashier was serving Guillaume, who was in turn frazzled from his anxious wait.

As we left, there was an angry man arguing with the shop security. “But you didn’t advertise on the radio that you were closing earlier!” We shook our heads wistfully, that man didn’t realise how lucky he was to be spared the inferno within…