Once upon a time, in a hair-raising race to buy sheep in the Altai Mountains, my Azerbaijani drivers urged me to visit Baku – “it’s the Paris of the Caucasus” – they assured me.

Budapest is regarded as ‘Paris of the East’ or ‘Paris of Central Europe’, and the redesign of Bucharest’s neighbourhoods by French architects in the 1870s to late 1920s earned the Romanian capital the title of ‘Paris of the Balkans.’ Irkutsk is apparently the ‘Paris of Siberia’ and Tbilisi was the ‘Paris of the Soviet Union.’

Which has got me thinking about all the places, often ex-Iron Curtain or Soviet Union that adopt or are labelled with a ‘Paris of…’ moniker. But isn’t one Paris enough? This tendency irritates me, as it almost suggests that there’s not much more of worth in the place, other than a vague resemblance or a tenuous link to the French capital. Which raises the question of: how exactly are they linked? Did they undergo a substantial nineteenth-century conversion from medieval to modern by the construction of a radiating system of grand boulevards? Is it a penchant for art nouveau architecture? A reputation for fashion, style and elitism? Or just that they think their capital is in fact the centre of the universe?

So I thought I’d make a list myself, comparing Paris to other major ex-Soviet centres.

Here it goes.

The St. Petersburg of Paris. This one is easy. A regal centre, but flanked by high-rise residential monstrosities… Back in the USSR… you don’t know how lucky you are (dwellers of département 93…) St. Petersburg is Paris, only with real white nights (as opposed to artistically installed ones), real ice-skating, and a real need to touch up the gold foiling and give the place a new coat of paint. Invalides – the St. Isaac’s of Paris – I rest my case!

The Moscow Metro of Paris (Line 1). It’s ridiculous, only on a Friday afternoon in Moscow have I seen people so prone to metamorphosis (reverting to sardine form) as on the Parisian Metro Line 1, during a liberal stretch of peak hours.

The Russian Post of France. When Peter the Great (Peter I) looked out his western window to Europe at the turn of the eighteenth century, he took shipbuilding from the Dutch, a legal system from the Swedes… and administration, bureaucracy, and the postal service from the French? The resemblance is uncanny!