Monsieur le President, you’re making it very hard for those working with children these days.

I’m not talking about any planned reforms, and I’m sure you think you have the youth of the nation in mind with your plans for the education system. No… I’m talking about watching your language.

(I’ll stick in a glossary of rude words below rather than explain it all mid-sentence.)

Look, I’ve had enough trouble trying to stand firm on stopping my au-pairing kids from saying a putain-intended punaise (‘But that’s what they say on The Simpsons!’); how can I stand firm on pauvre con (‘but that’s what the President says!’)?

Just when the attention had deflected from Sarkozy’s personal fiascos with an actual government measure (controversial, of course), he goes and sticks his foot in it by calling a member of the public a poor c*** and telling him to get out of the way. Who was I to think that politics could be dull?

By way of a glossary – the punaise / putain issue centres around the unassuming punaise (either a type of beetle or a drawing pin) happening to sound a lot like putain (whore) a far more loaded term which is often used as an expression of anger. Why I object to the kids saying punaise (it’s ok for The Simpsons, I’m not a prude, really!), is that they shout the first syllable, check to see if I’m listening and then end it accordingly with –naise if I’m within earshot, or –tain if they think I’m not around.

Pauvre con on the other hand, isn’t exactly how I translated it before, as in French it basically means “bloody idiot” or “stupid twit.” But it can’t be avoided that con was originally slang for female genitalia – so either way, not an essential phrase for any aspiring heads of state.

Didn’t they teach him that in President School?